Gears

Going through old bits... I found this fucking INTENSE blabber. Written only September of last year. Not that long ago. It's weird how when I look back, it's hard to believe that I've ever felt intensely about anyone. Then I read shit like this... these things that I wrote just to vent. I don't like to talk about things with other people so I write them out just for myself really. I never share them until the feelings have come and gone. I'm a bottler.


But seriously... this is intense. Why am I so dramatic?! Sheesh.

You shook my hand
and that kind hazel gaze threw a wrench in the works
It stopped the clocks and the only thing that was moving was us
My mind was erased, Oblivious to all else except the amazement of you
The shock that fell through suddenly raised a feeling of panic
And as the gears began to turn again and the world started to move
The music began to play and all I could do was turn you away
I never turned the page. I got off the ride right before the drop. I turned around and went home instead of seeing what the road went to.
I was a coward
Afraid of the pain
Afraid of the things I would gain
Afraid of what I could build
Like a stack of blocks balanced so perfectly up to the rooftops only to find it kicked to the ground before I even had a chance to admire it's beauty
I was afraid that maybe the clock had only stopped for me
And for you, time seemed to keep ticking that same old boring tock that it usually does
Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second
It was all the same.
What if someone had asked you the colour of these eyes
These eyes that were so locked and hypnotized
Hallucinating, thinking the world had stopped for us
these pupils growing as big as the moon
because nothing less could measure up to you
Those same eyes that watched you walk away
Would you remember them?
Do you even know the impact that you had on this awestruck queer
How every step you took there after thumped in her chest
And every thump pulsed a message of you up to her brain
Reminding her of that one simple moment every waking day
A memory that can't be taken away
A meteor just crashed landed this earth and shook the land
Leaving a gaudy dent to remember it by
How is it that a stranger could feel so close
You have lassoed my heart
and it will continue to drag in the desert sand behind you