R.E.M. Cycling

(Age 20 - This picture is very posed, but who knows... I may actually look like this when I sleep.)  

I had a conversation via phone during my break time at work. We were talking about dreams, one of my most favourite subjects. I never get tired of talking about dreams. I love hearing other people's dreams. I love telling people my dreams. I love discussing people's beliefs on why we dream. I love detecting patterns in dreams. I love it all!

(Age 18 - After a night of partying with K)). I was trying to sleep.)

Dreaming is like going on an adventure. I get excited every night as I crawl into bed, waiting for the ride to begin.

The types of dreams I have tend to change with the mood I'm in. I have more dark and creepy dreams when I'm upset. Those tend to strike me as the most interesting. Sometimes they can be disturbing (like a woman fucking a dog). Sometimes they can be rad (like riding motorcycles to chase down a blue alien and shoot him with your lazer gun). Sometimes they can be disturbing and rad (like squeezing a leech out of your toe or trying to escape from the bloody lab of a mad scientist). And sometimes they can be creepy and funny (like walking into an auditorium of skeletons with the grim reaper on stage killing people. Then making him dance by singing "This Land is Your Land").

For the past couple weeks or so, I've been having dreams where there is a love interest. There's always someone I'm crushing on in my dream and usually by the end we are about to embrace, kiss, or whatnot. I usually wake up before it actually happens, though (fuckin' a!). I think this theme of dreams is caused by my very affectionate nature that I've recently acquired.

There are a few people I've talked to that have dreams about places being bombed or transportation crashes or even natural disasters. I can't recall a time I've had any of these. It's so amazing how everyone has different patterns and themes in their dreams.

I've had a few dreams where it doesn't feel like a dream. I'm lying in my bed trying to get to sleep, and suddenly I'm (dreaming about) lying in my bed and a bunch of shadows are in my room hissing and laughing and my body feels paralyzed and I can't breath. No transition between being awake and asleep. It's fuckin' creepy. THOSE along with recurring dreams are the only dreams I do NOT enjoy.

Luckily, I haven't had one of those in quite a few years.

I can go on and on about dreams and the different types, or why they occur, or how they connect with a person because it's endless. Dreams are one of the most fascinating things to me. I look forward to having more dream discussions with people. Especially ones who share the same passion for it.

(Age 15?... maybe 16 - Fell asleep watching T.V. Woke up with a wicked couch imprint.)

Positive Expression

I've been feeling exceptionally gushy these past few days (especially today). This is probably due to the fact that they have been full of positive expression. People have been texting me, facebooking me, and even coming up to me personally to express their fondness for me or a certain bit of me. I caught the beautiful disease and felt the need to express fondness for other people. Why not? It brings up the mood.

Which brings me to a quote.

"If you like what someone is doing, tell them."

Someone, I can't remember who, said this a few months back and it stuck with me. It's a beautiful phrase which should be recognized every once in a while.

So go for it.
You're pretty much guaranteed to make their day.
I know it made mine.

Self Improvement

Tonight I drowned myself in thoughts on things I don't like about myself and what I'd like to improve on. Don't get me wrong, I love the person I am as a whole and wouldn't want to be anyone else but like most people, there are parts of me that I don't enjoy so much. I strive constantly to try and change these bitter qualities I have. These thoughts brought up questions.

Should one not fight to change traits he/she dislikes about his/herself because it's what makes them who they are and they should accept said traits?

or

Should one fight to change traits he/she dislikes about his/herself because trying to change oneself for the better is also a part of who they are?

Regardless, I'm going to keep trying to fight against my natural habits that I am not satisfied with. I had a few successful moments today (Take that, driving anxiety!), but also some failures (Damn shyness... gets me every time.).






By the way: I went to see a performance today by two very attractive ladies with very attractive talents. They are worth a listen... or two... or three.

Annah Anti-Palindrome
Kim Tillman 


Oh yeah, and fuck the immigration law! 
And hell yes to the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law moving closer to being repealed.

Show and Tell

Today (now technically yesterday) people seemed in the mood to show me things they found or did. It's all very adorable. I love when people share!

My mom was excited to show me her back yard and all that she's done with it and what she plans on doing with it in the future. It looks rather lovely. I'm really proud of her. It use to be just a big yard of dirt. Now I see it slowly taking form. My mom's one tough woman!

My sister always has something to show. Today she showed me what she's done with her costume for an anime expo that she goes to every year. She always makes her own costume and with so much detail. They always turn out beautifully. This year, she's going to be a riceball. How cute?! And she's making a very intense costume for some steam punk character. (She tries to explain these things to me and I try so hard to understand, but I never get it. *sigh*)

Then it's off to work for more sharing.

A couple guys who I work with showed me their "brand new" locker which they were ever so proud of (Adorable moment). Another guy that I work with shared thoughts on ethnicity (Japanese girls are hot apparently.). Another guy that I work with expressed his excitement about his Persian hookah on the way (He promised to show me pictures. I WILL hold him on that.).

And then there was that customer... This guy is there all of the time. Tall grey haired man with big glasses. He sits in the corner on his laptop all day. He came up to me a few weeks ago to compliment me on my work habits. "I've been here for the past three days and you're the only one who I've seen do work in your field"... ouch. But yay! I love when I get these compliments. I feel so appreciated.

Anyway from how he complimented me, I knew he thought I was some kid in high school (as most people do. I have that baby face.). Today he finally asked my age.
 

"So how old are you? About 16?"

"I'm 20"

His face paused with a look of seriousness and confusion. It was as if his vision had just been scrambled for a second. After a while, he finally smiled... THEN HE PUNCHED ME!

... Okay, not really. He did that little friendly fist tap on the shoulder. I seem to get that a lot. It's a very cute gesture.

Anyway, I was very reluctant to tell him my age. I figured he would be disappointed. Not only was I not some highschool kid, my age didn't even have a "teen" at the end. He seemed to only be impressed by my work ethic because I am young and "kids are usually lazy". Really... I think anyone, regardless of age should be recognized and appreciated for their hard work. Adults can be lazy too! And I think... that smile and punch... was a way of telling me he thinks that as well.

After that, he wanted to be my best friend. Every time I passed him, he would ask about me and show me videos (mostly of various people singing the national anthem. I've never heard that song so many times in one day). He told me what he was currently typing to someone on facebook and asked me how to spell things. I loved this. Although he's uncomfortably patriotic, he was sweet and went out of his way to bond with someone. I wish more people would do this. I wish I would do this. It's one of the best compliments you can get from someone.

Spies Working on the Inside

I got sniper shot last night in my makeshift studio. Apparently it was funny that I was using a yoga ball as a seating device. What can I say? I'm a multitasker. (This is also the face I make before scolding for the distraction that led me to failure and forced me to start all over again.)

Ideal Romances That Never Were

I was terribly disappointed with the end of this video.

 



I believed it would've been a lot more touching if they never talked or had any other interaction with each other. I think once they came into closer contact with one another by hearing each other's voice, it ruined the desire and mystery. If I was attracted to a person across from my window, I would forever want it to stay as it was. I want to die in the mystery that is them. I want to forever know the attraction that I have for them at the moment and never let it evolve.

Is this a sign of fear? Fear of perhaps... being disappointed? Is not going any further running away?

I guess it doesn't matter. I still was let down by the ending. Although, I did love the tin can attached to wire alone. I remember making those as a child, but always disappointed because they never worked.