I am the dust in your eye
I am the grass stains on your shirt
I am the sloppy slut of a flirt you show off on a silver platter
I am the gum in your hair
I am a blanket worn and frilled
I am the milk that you spilled and the tear you shed there after
You say I am a masterpiece
My mirror shows nothing but splattered paint
a war of beauty vs beast
I'm a mess of a saint
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Butterflies
You held my hand and the lid of the jar in my stomach let loose all of the butterflies.
Had you not seized my breath, they would have flown out of my mouth as I exhaled.
Had you not seized my breath, they would have flown out of my mouth as I exhaled.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Dream: Charging Rhinos
I have very vivid dreams all of the time and I tend to remember them. I like to look up dream interpretations for shakes and gigs. I don't believe anything it says, but it keeps me entertained.
Rhinoceros
To see a rhinoceros in your dream suggests that you need to forge ahead toward your goals. Do not take "no" for an answer or let any obstacles sidetrack you from your destination. You need to be more aggressive.
So this is funny because I had a dream last night that a few of my guy friends were tied up in the middle of a concrete island by an evil lady pirate. I suddenly come to the rescue on a quad. I'm speeding down this bridge surrounded by water and quickly falling to pieces. Charging straight at me on this bridge were rhinos. At first, I am intimidated. then I just let out a yell and held my fist forward. It was a risk and I wasn't sure if I would win the fight (actually I was pretty sure I would lose), but I wasn't going to get anywhere backing down. So I charged right back at the rhino, punching it square in the horn and it fell to the side. Then there was another rhino... same thing. I was soon in an endless game of jousting with a line of rhinos and kicking ass! After a while, the rhinos started to forfeit. they soon started charging to the side so as to avoid me. Then after a break in the bridge and barely making it over the water, an elephant was in the middle. I was 99.9% sure that I was going to lose... but I held my fist out once again and as soon as this happened, the elephant stepped to the side. Then the bridge had an even larger break. My quad couldn't jump this one so I left it in the water and (how convenient) these two person jet skis were right next to where I landed. I swam up to one, got on and started heading toward the island, ready to kick some pirate ass... then my alarm went off. You have no idea how angry I was. I seriously woke up and said "Damnit! I was just about to kick some ass!". Sometimes... I really hate waking up.
And just for shakes and gigs:
Water
To see water in your dream symbolizes your subconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment.
Elephant
To see an elephant in your dream indicates that you need to be more patient or more understanding of others. Or perhaps there is a memory that you are holding on to for too long. You need to let go of the past. The elephant is also a symbol of power, strength, faithfulness and intellect. Alternatively, the elephant's introverted personality may be a reflection of your own personality.
To dream that you are afraid of the elephant suggests that there is an enormous problem that you are afraid to confront.
Bridge
To dream that you are crossing a bridge signifies an important decision or a critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be a positive change filled with prosperity and wealth in the horizon. Bridges represent a transitional period in your life where you will be moving on to a new stage. If the bridge is over water, then it suggests that your transition will be an emotional one. If you fall off the bridge and into the water, then the dream indicates that you are letting your emotions hold you back and prevent you from moving forward. Alternatively, the bridge may indicate that you are trying to "bridge" or connect two things together.
To see a bridge collapse in your dream implies that you have let an important opportunity pass you by.
Jet Ski
To see or dream that you are on a jet ski represents a journey of self-discovery. You are confronting and exploring aspects of your subconscious in full force. Alternatively, the dream relates to some sexual adventure or relationship.
^ I think that one's my favourite.
Rhinoceros
To see a rhinoceros in your dream suggests that you need to forge ahead toward your goals. Do not take "no" for an answer or let any obstacles sidetrack you from your destination. You need to be more aggressive.
So this is funny because I had a dream last night that a few of my guy friends were tied up in the middle of a concrete island by an evil lady pirate. I suddenly come to the rescue on a quad. I'm speeding down this bridge surrounded by water and quickly falling to pieces. Charging straight at me on this bridge were rhinos. At first, I am intimidated. then I just let out a yell and held my fist forward. It was a risk and I wasn't sure if I would win the fight (actually I was pretty sure I would lose), but I wasn't going to get anywhere backing down. So I charged right back at the rhino, punching it square in the horn and it fell to the side. Then there was another rhino... same thing. I was soon in an endless game of jousting with a line of rhinos and kicking ass! After a while, the rhinos started to forfeit. they soon started charging to the side so as to avoid me. Then after a break in the bridge and barely making it over the water, an elephant was in the middle. I was 99.9% sure that I was going to lose... but I held my fist out once again and as soon as this happened, the elephant stepped to the side. Then the bridge had an even larger break. My quad couldn't jump this one so I left it in the water and (how convenient) these two person jet skis were right next to where I landed. I swam up to one, got on and started heading toward the island, ready to kick some pirate ass... then my alarm went off. You have no idea how angry I was. I seriously woke up and said "Damnit! I was just about to kick some ass!". Sometimes... I really hate waking up.
And just for shakes and gigs:
Water
To see water in your dream symbolizes your subconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment.
Elephant
To see an elephant in your dream indicates that you need to be more patient or more understanding of others. Or perhaps there is a memory that you are holding on to for too long. You need to let go of the past. The elephant is also a symbol of power, strength, faithfulness and intellect. Alternatively, the elephant's introverted personality may be a reflection of your own personality.
To dream that you are afraid of the elephant suggests that there is an enormous problem that you are afraid to confront.
Bridge
To dream that you are crossing a bridge signifies an important decision or a critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be a positive change filled with prosperity and wealth in the horizon. Bridges represent a transitional period in your life where you will be moving on to a new stage. If the bridge is over water, then it suggests that your transition will be an emotional one. If you fall off the bridge and into the water, then the dream indicates that you are letting your emotions hold you back and prevent you from moving forward. Alternatively, the bridge may indicate that you are trying to "bridge" or connect two things together.
To see a bridge collapse in your dream implies that you have let an important opportunity pass you by.
Jet Ski
To see or dream that you are on a jet ski represents a journey of self-discovery. You are confronting and exploring aspects of your subconscious in full force. Alternatively, the dream relates to some sexual adventure or relationship.
^ I think that one's my favourite.
Friday, October 12, 2012
The Chase
I'm always chasing the people who don't want me,
And taking the people chasing me for granted.
Maybe I'll stop and let them catch up a bit,
But lord knows that when they get here, I'm going to take off again.
I'm never going to give up chasing those people that I want,
regardless of how long they run away for.
But now I will carry along the people who do want me.
They remind me that I don't actually need you...
I've got all I need.
But one must always strive for their desires.
When I want something, I mean truly want something...
I will put my all into getting it.
And I want you.
And so long as I keep these people with me,
The moment I grab you...
If you are to push me back (as you do),
Those people will be right behind me to catch me and slingshot me back in your direction...
And I will continue the chase.
And taking the people chasing me for granted.
Maybe I'll stop and let them catch up a bit,
But lord knows that when they get here, I'm going to take off again.
I'm never going to give up chasing those people that I want,
regardless of how long they run away for.
But now I will carry along the people who do want me.
They remind me that I don't actually need you...
I've got all I need.
But one must always strive for their desires.
When I want something, I mean truly want something...
I will put my all into getting it.
And I want you.
And so long as I keep these people with me,
The moment I grab you...
If you are to push me back (as you do),
Those people will be right behind me to catch me and slingshot me back in your direction...
And I will continue the chase.
Just Do It
Just do it.
Just go out and fuckin' do it.
Live life your own way.
Enough lying around and dreaming.
Enough waiting around for someone to come along and hold your hand.
You have the power.
You've just got to stand up.
Open the door along with your mind.
Look for beauty in the things we call ugly.
Challenge yourself, but also give yourself some slack.
Smile more.
Laugh more.
It's okay to be happy.
It's okay to be okay with being happy.
Misfortune will come along on their own time.
We must not seek it.
Just be your own.
Don't settle for the lesser you.
You're better than that.
Just take a deep breath.
Just open your eyes.
Just start walking.
Just smile.
Just do it.
Just go out and fuckin' do it.
Live life your own way.
Enough lying around and dreaming.
Enough waiting around for someone to come along and hold your hand.
You have the power.
You've just got to stand up.
Open the door along with your mind.
Look for beauty in the things we call ugly.
Challenge yourself, but also give yourself some slack.
Smile more.
Laugh more.
It's okay to be happy.
It's okay to be okay with being happy.
Misfortune will come along on their own time.
We must not seek it.
Just be your own.
Don't settle for the lesser you.
You're better than that.
Just take a deep breath.
Just open your eyes.
Just start walking.
Just smile.
Just do it.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Bird Leaving the Nest
And as the wall begins to crack
I'm sticking tacks in a world map
and dreaming
And as my heart begins to grow
I'm sticking post-its on a globe
And the floor beneath my toes is sinking
So here I go on the road of no return
I set this building on fire, but I won't stay to watch it burn
I'm jumping out the window and hoping for the best
It's time to move on. This bird is now leaving the nest.
I'm sticking tacks in a world map
and dreaming
And as my heart begins to grow
I'm sticking post-its on a globe
And the floor beneath my toes is sinking
So here I go on the road of no return
I set this building on fire, but I won't stay to watch it burn
I'm jumping out the window and hoping for the best
It's time to move on. This bird is now leaving the nest.
The Fisherman's Fate (Con't)
Back in July of 2010 I posted part of a story/poem called "The Fisherman's Fate". I never knew where to go with it. Then around... early Spring of this year (I think) I wrote a bit more, but didn't post it. It was 3am. Something hit me and I had to put it in the story. It's kind of dark... I was emotionally mixed up at the time. I didn't want to post it right away. The situation was too raw for me to get the courage to share this sensitive story with others.
I'm not sure whether I want to keep all that I've added to it or not. I think that even if it does change, it'll be nice to see how it evolved. It's an ongoing story. I don't know if this is the last that I'll ever add to it or not. That's kind of the excitement of it all. Anyway, here it is:
The Fisherman's Fate:
A fisherman floats on the wide ocean waters
He sits in his boat where he dreams and he ponders
And out in the blue he hears a distinct voice
Accompanied by sounds of sorrow and rejoice
The melody gets louder. It surrounds him and then
A woman appears with a sparkling fin
The fisherman speaks without hardship or thought
Not knowing that soon his charisma will rot
"Hello, my dear. You hold such a sweet song."
And here is the moment that it all goes wrong
Their eyes give a kiss and all is now hushed
In awe and in panic, his face becomes flushed
His body grows weak. There is shaking in his legs.
He has to break away from this frightening gaze
"Away with you now, Medusa of the sea
It's much too dangerous to have you near me."
In that summer gaze, the tide seemed to turn
The ocean has drowned him in an unfeasible yearn
Back home all the fisherman's friends ask why
Why he ran away unto which he replies
"Why with all the worthy fish in the sea
Why would she ever choose to swim with me?
I breathe the air and I have two feet
And I act like a fool every time that we meet."
The fisherman hides. Visions eat away at his mind.
Searching for answers that he can not find.
What is this spell? What is the hitch?
That moment of rapture. A moment so rich.
He has to see her again. He can't hide anymore.
He has to find reason before his head becomes sore.
He grabs all of his gear and heads into the blue.
Coaching himself on what he will do.
His stomach is in knots, his hands are like ice.
He sits desperately hoping that his visit will suffice.
As she comes to the surface, his speech is destroyed.
Loses what is left of his nerve and soon becomes coy.
She gives him a smile so beautiful. A work of art.
Just then she swam her way right into his heart.
She asks him to swim, to see her world for a night.
He wants nothing more than to be by her side.
He tries hard to act natural. So hard to stay afloat.
Spends the whole night in silence then sleeps in his boat.
In the morning he fumbles forgetting where he is.
Splashing around, his mind in a fizz.
The captivator soon rises and gives him a fish.
There is no better morning that he could have wished.
They say their goodbyes as she guides him out.
From there on after, it was all he could think about.
Back home the fishermen ask once again.
Why he still fears her and keeps all his feelings in.
"Why with all the worthy fish in the sea
Why would she ever choose to swim with me?
I breathe the air and I have two feet
And I act like a fool every time that we meet."
He tries to relax and only visit now and then.
Hoping that he can start seeing her as a friend.
It is certain to him that she wants nothing more.
So he settles down and finds someone else to adore.
Many days pass and he lives his own life.
Fading slowly away from that long and hard strife.
He sets out to sea, his new love by his side.
To show her the sights, and hear the song of the tide.
He finds his old friend and greets her with love.
Feeling confident again. He can not be drugged.
But just then she spoke words that gave him a chill
And then once again, his body becomes ill.
How can he be so weak? How can he explain?
How can he ever show his face? He is just so ashamed.
And just in that moment he begins to realize.
That there is no killing that first look in her eyes.
Though he found love in more places than one.
Nothing has resolved what he has begun.
And you will find him in the sea of fear and regret
Drowning in a gaze, he cannot seem to forget.
I'm not sure whether I want to keep all that I've added to it or not. I think that even if it does change, it'll be nice to see how it evolved. It's an ongoing story. I don't know if this is the last that I'll ever add to it or not. That's kind of the excitement of it all. Anyway, here it is:
The Fisherman's Fate:
A fisherman floats on the wide ocean waters
He sits in his boat where he dreams and he ponders
And out in the blue he hears a distinct voice
Accompanied by sounds of sorrow and rejoice
The melody gets louder. It surrounds him and then
A woman appears with a sparkling fin
The fisherman speaks without hardship or thought
Not knowing that soon his charisma will rot
"Hello, my dear. You hold such a sweet song."
And here is the moment that it all goes wrong
Their eyes give a kiss and all is now hushed
In awe and in panic, his face becomes flushed
His body grows weak. There is shaking in his legs.
He has to break away from this frightening gaze
"Away with you now, Medusa of the sea
It's much too dangerous to have you near me."
In that summer gaze, the tide seemed to turn
The ocean has drowned him in an unfeasible yearn
Back home all the fisherman's friends ask why
Why he ran away unto which he replies
"Why with all the worthy fish in the sea
Why would she ever choose to swim with me?
I breathe the air and I have two feet
And I act like a fool every time that we meet."
The fisherman hides. Visions eat away at his mind.
Searching for answers that he can not find.
What is this spell? What is the hitch?
That moment of rapture. A moment so rich.
He has to see her again. He can't hide anymore.
He has to find reason before his head becomes sore.
He grabs all of his gear and heads into the blue.
Coaching himself on what he will do.
His stomach is in knots, his hands are like ice.
He sits desperately hoping that his visit will suffice.
As she comes to the surface, his speech is destroyed.
Loses what is left of his nerve and soon becomes coy.
She gives him a smile so beautiful. A work of art.
Just then she swam her way right into his heart.
She asks him to swim, to see her world for a night.
He wants nothing more than to be by her side.
He tries hard to act natural. So hard to stay afloat.
Spends the whole night in silence then sleeps in his boat.
In the morning he fumbles forgetting where he is.
Splashing around, his mind in a fizz.
The captivator soon rises and gives him a fish.
There is no better morning that he could have wished.
They say their goodbyes as she guides him out.
From there on after, it was all he could think about.
Back home the fishermen ask once again.
Why he still fears her and keeps all his feelings in.
"Why with all the worthy fish in the sea
Why would she ever choose to swim with me?
I breathe the air and I have two feet
And I act like a fool every time that we meet."
He tries to relax and only visit now and then.
Hoping that he can start seeing her as a friend.
It is certain to him that she wants nothing more.
So he settles down and finds someone else to adore.
Many days pass and he lives his own life.
Fading slowly away from that long and hard strife.
He sets out to sea, his new love by his side.
To show her the sights, and hear the song of the tide.
He finds his old friend and greets her with love.
Feeling confident again. He can not be drugged.
But just then she spoke words that gave him a chill
And then once again, his body becomes ill.
How can he be so weak? How can he explain?
How can he ever show his face? He is just so ashamed.
And just in that moment he begins to realize.
That there is no killing that first look in her eyes.
Though he found love in more places than one.
Nothing has resolved what he has begun.
And you will find him in the sea of fear and regret
Drowning in a gaze, he cannot seem to forget.
The Cliff of Fear
I'm holding hands with the goddess of courage
One foot off the cliff of fear
I don't know where it is I'm going
But I know I won't be standing here
One foot off the cliff of fear
I don't know where it is I'm going
But I know I won't be standing here
Friday, September 21, 2012
Meow
Sometimes I have so many built up emotions
No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to put the right words together to express myself correctly
And no one seems to understand
Sometimes I let out a long "meow"
Letting the emotion float in my emphasis
And people seem to understand me more clearly
No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to put the right words together to express myself correctly
And no one seems to understand
Sometimes I let out a long "meow"
Letting the emotion float in my emphasis
And people seem to understand me more clearly
Friday, September 14, 2012
A Rose
After three years of living in a garden
One year of sitting at a table with a vase of lilies center stage
I have revisited a rose petal in the night sitting in the spotlight of the moon
No longer satisfying as it once was, I peeled at it ever so slowly.
... She loves me... She loves me not...
All until my eyes were stricken by a fresh new layer of life. Soft and vibrant.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
My head threw back and my fists clasped ever so tightly around the toxic green stem.
The thorns tore through my fingers releasing streams of blood that trickled through the cracks of my fists.
Slowly tracing my veins, the blood ran all the way down my wrists and forearms eventually making it's way to my elbows.
It collected and pooled until a single drop flew free.
A silent scream all the way to the ground where it then echoed a tiny "drip" as a faucet does when it counts the hours at night.
Still with my face to the heavens, I slowly opened my eyes.
My lips parted ever so slightly and I sat in silence.
It was only a matter of time before a hungry cry would crawl out from my diaphragm and ride the wind of my lungs.
Like an instinctive lioness fending for it's bone struck cub, that cry dashed out of the cave, scraped my teeth, and dispersed into the sky to hunt until it died.
I heaved...
My chest created a tidal wave down my torso
It was then that I entered the home that I needed
I stood there embracing all that I held.
Forgetting that anything else existed.
And finally remembering the beauty that is in holding a single rose.
One year of sitting at a table with a vase of lilies center stage
I have revisited a rose petal in the night sitting in the spotlight of the moon
No longer satisfying as it once was, I peeled at it ever so slowly.
... She loves me... She loves me not...
All until my eyes were stricken by a fresh new layer of life. Soft and vibrant.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
My head threw back and my fists clasped ever so tightly around the toxic green stem.
The thorns tore through my fingers releasing streams of blood that trickled through the cracks of my fists.
Slowly tracing my veins, the blood ran all the way down my wrists and forearms eventually making it's way to my elbows.
It collected and pooled until a single drop flew free.
A silent scream all the way to the ground where it then echoed a tiny "drip" as a faucet does when it counts the hours at night.
Still with my face to the heavens, I slowly opened my eyes.
My lips parted ever so slightly and I sat in silence.
It was only a matter of time before a hungry cry would crawl out from my diaphragm and ride the wind of my lungs.
Like an instinctive lioness fending for it's bone struck cub, that cry dashed out of the cave, scraped my teeth, and dispersed into the sky to hunt until it died.
I heaved...
My chest created a tidal wave down my torso
It was then that I entered the home that I needed
I stood there embracing all that I held.
Forgetting that anything else existed.
And finally remembering the beauty that is in holding a single rose.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Late at Night When All the World is Sleeping
Late at night I think of many things. Mostly love.
Family, friendship, romance
Memories and dreams
These thoughts fly around my room
They wrap around me, keeping me warmer than any blanket
I imagine them flying out the window
Soaring through the air and reaching all the people that I have taken time for that night
Once that gust of warm thoughts comes flying through
May it brush their cheek and ring comfort
Late at night I wish for things... a lot of things
Such is the way of the night
And as I tip my hat to the moon
I shall leave you with this adieu:
Love
Please love
Hear love
See love
Feel love
Be love
Love
Tonight
From me to you,
Cosh
Family, friendship, romance
Memories and dreams
These thoughts fly around my room
They wrap around me, keeping me warmer than any blanket
I imagine them flying out the window
Soaring through the air and reaching all the people that I have taken time for that night
Once that gust of warm thoughts comes flying through
May it brush their cheek and ring comfort
Late at night I wish for things... a lot of things
Such is the way of the night
And as I tip my hat to the moon
I shall leave you with this adieu:
Love
Please love
Hear love
See love
Feel love
Be love
Love
Tonight
From me to you,
Cosh
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Isolated KINGdom
there once was a castle that sat on the top of a hill. It was built with dreams and love. It was built with such strength that it seemed as though it would never come down. Then one day it began to rain. It started as a drizzle, then turned into a pour. What was once a gentle breeze was now howling wind. Sweet and gentle raindrops were now blistering bits of hail. Thunder began to rumble and the castle walls began to crumble. the whole land flooded so much that it reached the top of the hill. It flooded the castle grounds and washed away all the people. All that was left was the lonely king. This lonely king who once had everything he could ask for. He was surrounded by love and safety. But one cannot avoid such a storm. The king sat at the top of the rubble that was once his kingdom. He had no place to sleep. No one to turn to. No shoulder to cry on. No hope for near happiness. His only options were to sit there and be swallowed up by the storm or swim blindly with all his might in hopes that maybe someday he will find land. Hopefully he will not be a victim to this new sea. And hopefully if he ever reaches that land, there will be someone there to take his hand.
Everyone needs help sometimes. Even a mighty king.
Everyone needs help sometimes. Even a mighty king.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
This House is No Longer a Home
This house is no longer a home. My bed is in it. My shirts, my socks, underwear, and pants. I eat here. I sleep here. I bathe here. But this house is not a home. A home is a sanctuary. It's a place for meditation. It is a private getaway from the world. It's something that you can always depend on. It is YOURS.
This house is no longer a home. I walk in the door only to be greeted with blindsided punches. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. There is no trust. No communication. No patience. No heart. And don't ask me who's living under that roof! I wouldn't be surprised to find someone living under my bed.
This house is no longer a home, but lord do I want it to be. I want to go home and know that everything is okay. To be in peace. To be content. To be hugged rather than strangled by these walls. I want to be outside thinking "I can't wait to get home". But this house is not a home.
Home should be heaven... but every time I walk through that door, I've opened the gates of hell.
This house is no longer a home. I walk in the door only to be greeted with blindsided punches. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. There is no trust. No communication. No patience. No heart. And don't ask me who's living under that roof! I wouldn't be surprised to find someone living under my bed.
This house is no longer a home, but lord do I want it to be. I want to go home and know that everything is okay. To be in peace. To be content. To be hugged rather than strangled by these walls. I want to be outside thinking "I can't wait to get home". But this house is not a home.
Home should be heaven... but every time I walk through that door, I've opened the gates of hell.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Broken Dream
I'm in love with your eyes
I'm in love with your laugh
I'm in love with the fact that I'm aware of your existance
I'm in love with your smile
I'm in love with your conversation
I'm in love with our time together even pushing through this resistance
I'm so in love with the idea of you
That to have you scares me so
To avoid a broken dream
I just might have to let you go
I'm in love with every touch
I'm in love with every pulse
I'm in love with the moment we met to every meeting we had there after
I'm in love with a beautiful mind
I'm in love with a vision of bliss
I'm in love with the thought that this might be the ultimate form of rapture
I'm so in love with the idea of you
That to have you scares me so
To avoid a broken dream
I just might have to let you go
I never made a move
I never took that chance
I only asked for friendship
When it should've been romance
I'm so in love with the idea of you
That to have you scares me so
Now I live a broken dream
Because I let you go
I'm in love with your laugh
I'm in love with the fact that I'm aware of your existance
I'm in love with your smile
I'm in love with your conversation
I'm in love with our time together even pushing through this resistance
I'm so in love with the idea of you
That to have you scares me so
To avoid a broken dream
I just might have to let you go
I'm in love with every touch
I'm in love with every pulse
I'm in love with the moment we met to every meeting we had there after
I'm in love with a beautiful mind
I'm in love with a vision of bliss
I'm in love with the thought that this might be the ultimate form of rapture
I'm so in love with the idea of you
That to have you scares me so
To avoid a broken dream
I just might have to let you go
I never made a move
I never took that chance
I only asked for friendship
When it should've been romance
I'm so in love with the idea of you
That to have you scares me so
Now I live a broken dream
Because I let you go
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